“What happens in this house stays in this house?” “Don’t do as I do, do as I say.” “Just let it go.” “That’s just how they are.” ” That happened 20 years ago, why talk about it now.” “You knew what you signed up for so just keep it moving.” These are ways that women have been silenced generation after generation. These statements start out as verbal, but over time, silence becomes a generational rule. No words need to be said. It is learned through behaviors, one finger to the lips, secretly crying in the bathroom, plastering those pearly whites on your face.
Loved this essay! And shout out to your mom for being willing and open to have such a vulnerable conversation around silence.
Thank you! I wrote this one years ago and sure we could all write and talk lots about the role of silence in our families.